Family Virtues – Gratitude

Bonnie Ware is a nurse that takes care of terminally ill patients. She often asks these people, who are often within a month or two of death, a simple but thought provoking question.

Do you have any regrets?

Her patients would open their hearts as they reflected on their lives. I would like to focus on one remark that has helped me be more thankful.

I wish I had let myself be happier

One regret of these dying patients was they wished they had let themselves be happier. I was surprised when I first read this because it suggests that we are the only ones keeping us from that happiness.

They didn’t say, ‘I wish I had bought more things to make me happy.’ They didn’t say, ‘I wish I had better kids that would have made me happy.’ They didn’t even say, ‘I wish I had a lot more money, then I would have been happy.’ These people in a state of physical decline had a perspective of clarity about who was really in charge of their happiness.

So how can we be happier about what we have now? I think gratitude is the key.

When we think there is something missing that makes us pity ourselves, that is the best time to count your blessings. When money is tight and you can’t do the fun things you like to do, it may be a blessing to help you realize the joy already around you.

When my wife and I were first married, we didn’t make very much money because both of us were still in school. We didn’t go out to eat very much and almost all of our furniture was hand-me-down or second hand. We weren’t sad though. We had what we needed and enjoyed the simplicity in our lives.

Another way to improve gratitude and happiness is to serve others. I believe it’s hard to realize what you have until it’s lost. If you can serve someone that has lost someone or something important, that service will help put your own life into perspective.

One year our Scout troop went to a homeless shelter to feed people Thanksgiving dinner. I felt like I was helping others and I realized how blessed I was. This experience didn’t make me think less of the people I was serving, it gave me love for them and happiness in my soul.

This Thanksgiving and Christmas Season, give your family the gift of gratitude by finding joy in simple things that don’t have a price tag (like time together) and serve others. As you count your blessings, it will surprise you what the Lord has done.