Learning from Children

Left to Right: Nathan, Caityln,
Samantha (cousin) and Hailey (cousin)

Kids teach some great lessons about life. I also learn a lot about God through my relationship with my kids. Below are a few stories and what I learned through those stories.  

Love

Our little girl has a big heart. When her brother fell and scraped his knee, she would run to her brother and ask him if he was OK, help him up and give him a big hug to help him calm down. She does it because she loves him, not because she has to. Other times she will sit with her brothers and look at books with them, not because she has to but because she wants to.

Our two younger boys are can be quite loving too. For no reason at all they will walk up to each other and give each other a big hug, grinning ear to ear. They will frequently run to me when I get home from work and yell, “Daddy, Daddy!” with arms wide open. They give me a squeeze and smile, just to say they love me and missed me.

Patience

Children are a huge tutorial in patience. Not that they are always patient, but they require patience.

Patience is learned when you know it will take twice as long to eat when the toddler is holding the fork, but they need to practice. Patience is required to let your three year old take his turn brushing his teeth so he develops the habits, even though you will need to take a turn so his teeth actually get clean. Patience comes from watching your five year old brush her hair, even though she may take ten minutes on one spot and think she is done.

Patience really comes when you realize the joy in seeing them each succeed at learning new skills. Kids help you put life into perspective. The kids are far more important than the mess, the technique or the completeness of the job. They will accomplish more when we love them through it all and show it.

Forgiveness

Unfortunately, I have not always shown my love and been completely patient with my children.

One evening, I was tired and irritable. I wasn’t in the mood for making big bubbles with our hands as we washed them. I wasn’t willing to wait for my 3 year old to check between each toe for toe jam before he got his pajamas on. I was annoyed with each delay and voiced that annoyance a little louder with each detour. About the time the kids decided it’s time to play hide and seek, rather than get in bed, I lost my temper and wasn’t nice with my words and probably promised punishment I knew I couldn’t follow through with. I left and my daughter was crying. About 5 minutes later, I had calmed down and put things back in perspective and went to apologize to the kids.

Although she reminded me that I should talk nicely, she was quick to return the hug and say “I love you.” I knew she had really forgiven me. When someone comes to me and says “I’m sorry,” I know I should forgive and forget like a little child.  

The activity is not that important as long
as we are doing it together.

Time is Precious

I try to leave my Saturday’s open for family time. I love to be with my kids. When I ask them what they want to do, the suggestions range from wrestling and building with blocks to playing house and reading books. My children are young, so maybe this will change, but the activity is not that important as long as we are doing it together.

Children are Heavenly

I have learned a lot about my relationship with God as I reflect on my relationship with my kids. I know many times how my child will react to something, before I ever tell them. I know some news will be hard to accept, i.e. “It’s bed time.” As their father, I know what they need and I will help them get what they need, but I want them to put forth effort too.

 My Heavenly Father knows me perfectly and knows how I will react, and he has placed growing opportunities in my path, so I can grow. He won’t give me a trial I can’t handle. Even when we are facing a difficult trial, he is ready to help us get through if we turn to him in faith.

My kids teach me many more things, but these are a few things that help me understand what Christ meant when he said, “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:4) Or what Paul meant when he told the Corinthians, “Brethren, be not children in understanding: howbeit in malice be ye children, but in understanding be men.” (1Corinthians 14:20)

Next week: Family Virtues – Love