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| Children usually put themselves into the story, often as the main character, and think about how they would act. |
One night as we drove home from some errands, my kids asked me to tell
a story. Earlier in the day, I had tried to explain why it’s important not to
fake being hurt or tell adults something was wrong when it really wasn’t. So I
used this opportunity to tell my kids about the boy who cried wolf. I explained
that the boy only cried wolf the first two times because he was bored and
wanted to see what the town’s people would do. But the third time, when the
wolf really came, the people didn’t believe him and came after it was too late.
While the motive was good, my 5-year-old daughter didn’t think so much
about the moral as she did about the wolf. For the next week or two we were
answering a lot of questions about wolves and reassuring her there weren’t any
wolves in our area. Our 3-year-old son hasn’t stopped talking about fighting
wolves since then.
While my story is not a model of success, it helps to illustrate a
couple points about teaching through parables.
1. Puts
things into perspective
A parable
is generally a story that takes divine or eternal truth and compares it to
things that are material or physical in nature. Jesus did this to help people
grasp the concept and make it plain to understand (for some, which we will
cover next).
My favorite
story of teaching through parables actually comes from the Old Testament. Shortly
after King David lost control of his will power and made a series of bad
decisions that lead to his falling from favor with the Lord, Nathan the prophet
shows up. While he had every right to launch into a stern rebuke and give David
a tongue lashing he wouldn’t soon forget, he didn’t. He started by telling
David a story about two men with sheep. One had many sheep and was a very rich
man. The other was a poor man with only one sheep, but he loved it very much.
The rich man takes the poor man’s sheep and serves it to some guests, instead
of killing one of his own sheep. David was outraged and was ready to have the
rich man killed for this abomination.
Nathan’s
response was “Thou art the man,” (2 Samuel 12:7) and then he delivered the
rebuke. So why did Nathan start with a story? It made David put things into
perspective. Instead of David immediately putting up defenses and excuses, he
acted as his own judge. When the names were revealed, David realized he had no
excuse for his actions.
We can use
stories to help our kids understand principles that would otherwise be over
their heads, or difficult to understand. Through comparisons with things that
are familiar, unfamiliar concepts come to life.
2. Allows
for deeper understanding
As we learn in the scriptures, Jesus used parables so those that had
ears to hear could hear, while keeping those that only wanted to argue were
deaf to the truth. The parables can be understood very simply as a story. Then
as you think about the story and think about the setting, the characters and
plot, you begin to understand more about how they feel and what is important
about the story. For those that take time to think about the story, the meaning
becomes clear and the truth is evident. For those that don’t believe, the story
is elementary and doesn’t deserve any more thought.
When teaching children, I would suggest following the Savior’s
example. After he told the parables, his disciples didn’t always understand
what he meant by it. So Jesus would discuss it with them and help them
understand. We need to talk about the stories we tell and where the truth in
the story lies. The wise man didn’t just build on a hard surface; he built his
life on the Rock of Salvation and lived according to His teachings. Ask them
questions and find out what they understand, and then you know where to add
perspective.
3. Provides
an opportunity for application of principles
As a social worker and psychotherapist, Betty J. Freedson explains
that kids see
themselves in stories. They identify with characters and internalize the
message, which will seem like inner wisdom later on. In other words, they have
put themselves in the position of the main character and faced a decision in
their minds, long before they have to face it in real life.
My kids showed this that night when I told them about the boy who
cried wolf. They were fixed on trying to figure out what they would do if they
had to face a wolf. They put themselves in the story as the main character. It
was up to me to help them understand that the problem wasn’t the wolf, because
others would come and help, if the boy would just tell the truth.
The main point is that parents can’t just leave it at the story.
Parables contain truth that never dies, it just has to be applied. Parents have
to help their kids learn the application, which will help them in the future as
they find other applications.
