Pattern of the Family

So what is the pattern of the family?
How should the family behave?

I believe family is ordained of God. He established it. Shortly after creating the first man and woman, he joined them together as the first couple.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen. 2: 24)

This means a husband and wife are to be completely loyal to each other and their relationship is paramount in their lives. God knew life was going to be difficult and so he gave Adam an help meet, Eve. Neither man nor woman was better than the other. (Corinthians 11:11)

God took a rib from Adam’s side, close to his heart, suggesting husband and wife should walk side by side through the trials of life. Woman wasn’t made from the foot or head, so she is not to be stepped on or domineering over man. Husband and wife need to help each other and strengthening each other. Becoming one flesh.

All too often we hear of divorces that break up families and cause great heartache. It isn’t for me to judge if a divorce is the right choice or not. The Savior taught an important lesson on this matter.

The Pharisees came to Jesus wanting to trap him in the law on this very subject. They asked him if it is lawful for a man to divorce “his wife for every cause.” Jesus responded by saying,

“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Matt. 19:5-6)

I think what Jesus was saying was, ‘Is this why God commanded you to marry: so you could divorce? Husbands and wives are supposed to be loyal and united. Don’t be so quick to end a relationship ordained by God.’

So what is the pattern of the family? How should the family behave? Paul taught the Ephesians the pattern very well, so I will summaries his words from Ephesians 5:22-6:4

To the women he counseled them to submit to their husbands. He didn’t say be ignorant or silent. He didn’t say you are worthless, but said to submit like they submit to the Lord. Or in other words, support your husband as he tries to lead the family in righteousness.

To the men he said to love your wife and sacrifice yourself for her sake. Love her like you love yourself. Cherish her and support her like the Lord cherishes and supports his people.

To the children he reminds them of the first of the Ten Commandments that comes with a promise. “Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land, which the Lord thy God giveth thee”. Remember: Obedience is better than sacrifice, or in other words saying ‘I will’ is better than saying ‘I’m sorry.’

Paul counseled the parent’s (he says fathers, but I’m sure it counts for mothers too) not to provoke their kids but to teach them about God. The best lessons are taught by example. Show them love and show them how to worship. Show your kids you are pleased with them by praising them like Heavenly Father praised Jesus in Matt. 3:17.

If we are to put the family in it’s proper place of priority in our lives, we need to follow this wise council.

“Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home.” (Elder M. Russel Ballard, May Ensign 2011)

While I believe this is the pattern we should follow, it’s imperative that we work on our own family to implement this Godly pattern and let others work on theirs. Judge not that ye be not judged.

Next week: Success in the Home, Treasure in Heaven