Family Virtues – Learning

Reading together improved literacy for the next generation.
Santa hats optional, but encouraged. :)

“How do you spell ‘accept’?” said my mother after an all night shift at the hospital and only a few hours of sleep. Even though I was young, I knew she was tired and if I waited long enough, she would fall asleep.

“A (pause) c (pause again) s (check her facial expressions to see if I messed up. Oh no, she’s shacking her head, try another letter.) c …” I would say it as slow as I could without making it obvious.

I remember spelling homework going like that frequently. My attempts to get out of homework diminished a lot having to repeat second grade after my original attempt. I was held back because I wasn’t performing like my parents knew I could. From that point on, I played less and focused more.

I want to point out a few things that I learned over the years from these experiences.

1. I went to school to learn, but my parents were going to follow up.
2. School was important enough that my mom would miss sleep to make sure I got my homework done. Over the years, this was true of both parents, as they wouldn’t go to sleep, if one of their children was trying to finish a project.
3. There was an expectation for my effort and performance. Socially this was hard, and I was reminded of it frequently over the next few years when I would see kids I knew in the older grades, and they saw me. My parents wanted me to be grow for the future, not be comfortable in the present.

Family is the ultimate classroom. No matter where your child attends school, public, private or homeschool, the family will always be the most important part. No one will have as great an impact on the student’s learning as his or her parents. We need good teachers, and good school systems, but even the best academic institution cannot and should not try to replace the parents.

A recent study by the Joan Ganz Cooney Center at Sesame Workshop and the New America Foundation found that only a third of fourth-grade students read at their grade level. Of those only one in six qualify for free school lunches. The study found that the most important factor in their reading ability was parent and student interaction.

It makes sense though, right? If a child sees that reading is important and encouraged at home, then she is much more likely to want to read herself. Research shows a strong correlation between good academic performance and parents with college degrees. If a parent is engaged in the school process with his child, then the child is much more likely to want to excel.

So parents need to follow up with their children after school. Talk to them about what they learned. Show interest in them and their success by giving them your time and attention. Slow down and read with your kids, and ask them what they learned from the book.

In the Old Testament, we learn that Daniel and his friends were selected for their wisdom and understanding. But at least the four we know about, stayed true to the knowledge they received from their parents. They rejected the false traditions of the Babylonians and were blessed with even more knowledge.

Moses gave the charge to the Israelites to teach their children during the feasts. Their children hadn’t seen the Lord part the sea. God wanted the next generation to learn, that he has power to help them.

“And that their children, which have not known any thing, may hear, and learn to fear the Lord your God, as long as ye live in the land whither ye go over Jordan to possess it.” (Deut. 31:13)

Parents can’t assume someone else will teach their children, or that those teaching will always teach what’s right. The current curriculum may not be what you want your child to think is the gospel truth. God gave you those children, you have a solemn responsibility to teach them truth and virtue.

Over Thanksgiving, I had a special experience with my 5-year-old daughter. We went for a walk together through a lightly wooded area. I picked up a seed and talked about where it came from, how it became a tree and how that tree made more seeds. We climbed trees and talked a little about what trees “eat” and how they get energy from the sun. Then we told stories to each other about adventures in the woods. She won’t remember what I told her, but she will remember me taking time to be with her and how we asked questions about the world around us. I hope to have many more experiences like that with her and my other kids to make learning fun.

Next week: Family Virtues - Forgiveness and Mercy