Family Virtues – Love

Heart shaped, chocolate chip pancakes for Valentine's Day

I have six sisters and while we were growing up, they each took on the mothering role more often than I thought necessary. But they meant well and we are very close. In a family of 10, you have to be close.

So one day when I was probably 11 or 12, one of those mothering sisters taught me something. I was in a bad mood. Apparently I had been in a bad mood frequently during this time because one of my sisters said, “You don’t act this way around your friends. Why do you treat our family this way? Why do the ones you love get your worst behavior?”

 At the time, I just walked off and tried to ignore her. For some reason though, her comment struck me. If I love my family (which I truly always have) then why do I treat them like I don’t care about their feelings? Why do I consider my friend’s feelings before saying something, but not show the same courtesy to my own family?

We all are guilty of this at times, aren’t we? I have heard many times, that the ones you love most will hurt you the most. When we enter marriage, we promise fidelity, to honor and to protect our spouse. We pledge our heart to that person, and yet some hold back nothing when they have a disagreement. Parents have a solemn responsibility to nurture their children, but some will yell and berate their children.

So what does it mean to love? The two greatest commandments, Love God and Love your neighbor, are not just feelings. Christ said on those two commandments hang all the commandments and the prophets. This concept of love means a feeling and commitment that impacts how we direct our lives. In John 13:34-35 Christ councils,

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

“By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.”

You will notice that he gave an example with this commandment: ‘as I have loved you.’ He set the example of love for us. How did he love others? He sat children on his knee. He healed the hurting and comforted those that were sad or afraid. He put others’ needs before his own.

So we can love our families more completely as we follow his example. We can take time out of our busy schedules to take our children in our laps and tell them we love them. We can take care of our family members when they get sick. We can cheer up the sad and sooth the troubled soul. Essentially, loving our family is putting their needs ahead of our own.

The beautiful part is that when we make this a habit in our homes, we will have a greater capacity to love others outside our home. With that love we will learn to love God even more. 

Next week: Family virtues – Honesty