Finding Answers from God

One of the many neat quotes in the Library of Congress.

Getting a two year old to transition from a crib to a toddler bed is frustrating. 2 year olds aren’t called sit-and-waiters, they are called toddlers. They want to be up and moving around at all times. Cribs are great because they keep them contained. It only takes so long before the limited space becomes boring and they decide to give up and go to sleep.

However, when a toddler becomes a climber, it’s time to move to a bed. Our 2 year old figured out how to climb out of his crib and we didn’t want to be awakened one night to a scream because the escapist fell out of bed and hurt himself.

So the first night of sleeping in a bed had come and I was trying my hardest to figure out how to get this little boy to stay in his bed. Telling him didn’t do it. Bribing didn’t work. Threatening didn’t work for long. What was I to do?

Well I knew this topic was coming up for my blog, so I thought I better put my theory to the test. That is, I believe we can find the answers to our problems in the scriptures if we read, ponder and pray for guidance. So that’s what I did, and it worked. This is what happened.

I went into his room, and sat down on the floor. I pulled out my phone, which has the scriptures on it, and started reading aloud Joshua chapter 1. By the time I got to the end of Joshua chapter 3, my 2-year-old son was asleep. Not exactly a miracle, since reading has put me to sleep many times, but it was an answer to my problems.

Seriously though, we can find real answers for life now by reading the scriptures. And I think it can really help families to find answers this way. First of all, the scriptures contain eternal truth. Second, searching for answers gives us a new perspective. And finally, it develops faith.

Eternal Truth

The difference between eternal truth and man’s truth is how long it stands before being disproven. Eternal truth is established by God and will never be disproven, hence being eternal. Man’s truth is an attempt to make sense of things and is good, most of the time, but it is not complete. So we need to establish our lives on eternal truths. Jesus said it himself, “Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:” (Matt. 7:24) We know the parable; no matter what came, the house stood still because it was grounded on a solid foundation. When we base our decisions on eternal truths, we will be much better off.

I must say that we may not always understand eternal truths correctly, but at least we are starting with a pure source. If we continue to learn and try to apply what we know, our knowledge and understanding will grow.

New Perspective

Consulting scripture when you have problems helps you gain a new perspective. When we have a problem, we tend to think about it with only one view point. When we talk to someone else about our problems, they see it differently. This can often help us find a good solution to our problems because we see more options.

The scriptures offer a true story with real outcomes. We get to see two or more sides to a story as the stories unfold. If we think about what we are reading, God can enlighten our minds and we will see our lives more clearly.

Develop Faith

Searching for answers with a prayer in our heart and an open mind is an exercise in faith. As we try to understand God’s will for us and desire to follow that knowledge, we add layers of bricks to that house built on the Rock of our Redeemer. And families fixed on that kind of faith will be able to withstand the storms that will come.

Does It Work?

I have had many experiences but to illustrate what I mean, I want to share one experience. One day I was trying to figure out if I should start a new venture, which I knew would take some time and hard work. Like most people, I am busy, so finding time for this opportunity was a difficult decision. To make matters worse, there was no sure or immediate return on investment of this time. If I did it, I knew that it may be a labor of love more than a labor of monetary gain.

So I started by saying a prayer. I asked God to guide me and help me understand what was right for me and my family. So I opened my bible and started reading. I found a verse that said Ryan will do this that and the other and it will have this result. I closed the bible and lived happily ever after.

OK, it wasn’t that easy and it never is. I did open my bible and started reading. I read a chapter or two and as I reflected on what I read, one part stood out more than the rest. It was relevant to what I was wonder, so I noted that and opened to another section. I read a page or two and realized the theme of the story also related to my decision. This continued a few more times and then I reviewed what I had pondered and read. I tried to understand what it meant and then prayed again. I felt peace and decided I had my answer.

Sometimes, the answer comes in the scripture I read recently rather than just opening and reading, but I do spend some time reading and pondering. As I got more familiar with the scriptures, I knew where to find the stories that were related to what I was going through and then I could find my answers easier.

The moral of the story is God is trying to talk to us and give us understanding. When we listen and try to follow his words, we will not be disappointed. We will always learn.

Next week: Building a stable home

Involving the Family in Service

Scouts in Twin Falls, Idaho, attach inner tubes to
scrap metal found in the Snake River Canyon,
so it can be floated down the river to a dock.

One Monday night, I wanted to teach my kids about love and showing love through service. At first I wasn’t sure how to make it fun so my 5-, 3- and 1.5-year-old kids would not only understand but enjoy the lesson. I also wanted to make it something we did, not just talk about.

So I told them a story about a little boy named Heber, who got a new red coat. He then gave that coat to a little boy who had no coat at all. When his mom asked about his new red coat, Heber explained what he had done, fearing she would be upset. His mom wasn’t upset but happy he thought to do something to help this other young boy. There is actually a video about it, so we watched the video and talked about the story.

Then each of us cut out four hearts (the 1.5 year old is mostly just going through the motions for the rest of the lesson). I told them that service is a way to show love for others. We are God’s hands when we take time to serve other people. I explained that we should all look for ways to serve each other. When we did service for one of our family members, we would leave a heart for them.

My 5 year old was really excited about this, and she asked for ways to serve immediately. My 3 year old was also very excited and wanted to help too. My daughter asked to make her brother’s bed, read to the youngest and made lunch for me one day. After each act of service, she left a heart. My 3 year old son wanted to help his mom, by putting away her clean socks. He did his best to help make our bed and left a heart for me.

I loved to see the heart in my lunch and on my pillow. I loved to see them excited to help each other. The great part was when the hearts were all given out, they still did service for their family. The simple activity helped them enjoy service and they started to look for ways to serve.  

Any time someone goes out of their way to serve someone else and does it out of love, I believe God gives him or her an increase in love. 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Metal is pulled out of the river at the dock
and taken to a junk yard.

God also gives other blessings when we serve, including knowledge and understanding. Over the years, I have learned how to love orphans, quilt, reroof a house, use a chainsaw, build tables, and float trash metal out of a canyon through service projects. I also learned how not to cut a junk car apart on a canyon wall, but that’s a story for another time.

Service gives you understanding as you interact with other people. It gives you hope and helps you forget your struggles. The interesting part is when you serve others, your problems are more manageable; life gains new perspective. It also helps your kids too.

According to the National Service Learning Clearinghouse organization, kids that have parents who help others and encourage their children to help others are “more likely to internalize prosocial values and attitudes and to help others when they grow up, including responsibility, empathy, and caring for others.”

NSLC advocates integrating service into learning curriculum for all ages, kindergarten through college. They also explain the importance that parent’s play in making service a way of life and not just a random act.

“When parents nurture their child’s sense of compassion and commitment toward their community, we build a better world for now and for the future,” the NSLC website continues. “While doing important community work—feeding the hungry, recording oral histories with elders, working for human rights—service-minded families are raising children and teenagers who are more likely to become civically engaged, thoughtful, caring, and generous adults.”

Don’t forget to talk about service afterwards. Share your feelings, and ask your kids how they feel as they serve. This helps them reflect on what they did and gives them a chance to build on the learning they experienced as they served. A nonprofit called Doing Good Together has some resources to aid in reflecting.

I have to agree with Steven Covey, who said,

"Can you imagine anything more energizing, more unifying, more filled with satisfaction than working with members of your family to accomplish something that really makes a difference in the world?"

Next week:  Attitude with Children

Family Virtues – Faith and Hope

Faith is believing you can, even when it seems
you shouldn't even try. My niece is doing a great job of
doing all she can.

On one summer vacation, we were driving through central Utah near Arches National Park with a couple other families. We stopped to stretch our legs and walk around the towering rock formations. I followed a few of the others to a high arch (probably 30 or 40 feet high) and saw that they were starting to climb on it. As you might expect, I wanted to follow their lead and started to climb myself. It was easy and comfortable for me to climb higher than the others. Whether that was because they were smart enough to stop sooner or because I wasn’t too concerned about getting down, I’m not sure. But as the rock started to curve and the holes became smaller, it occurred to me that getting down was going to be a problem.

It was around that time that the others noticed I was in trouble and someone called for my dad. When he saw the situation, he quickly ran to me and started to climb after me. I couldn’t look down, and he wasn’t in a position to pick me up. So he talked to me and coached me down the rock formation. I was scared, but I had learned that I could trust my dad and he would help me get down safely. I walked away that day, a little wiser and grateful to be on flat ground.

Faith is a belief in something not seen but hoped for. I also define faith as belief in action. When we allow a belief to cause us to act, we are exercising faith. This is important for children to learn because it teaches them to act for themselves. It teaches them to move forward to accomplish something they want or need to do. Faith is a common part of life, and it was my faith in my father and his guidance that gave me confidence to get down from the rock.

Speaking of rocks, the most important faith we can teach our children is faith in the Rock of our salvation. When we teach our children to act according to their beliefs, they gain confidence in the power of God. We see it in the women that believed if she could just touch Jesus’ robe, she would be healed (Mark 5:34). We see it in the blind man that went to Jesus and asked to have his sight restored (Mark 10:52). We see it in the Canaanite woman who called after Jesus and asked him to heal her daughter (Matt. 15:28). In all those cases, Jesus responded to the actively seeking him with some form of the following: Your faith hath made the whole. Obviously it was the power of God that healed them or their loved ones, but he was acknowledging their effort to seek him out as a necessary ingredient in the miracle.

How can we teach our children to seek out the Savior? We can tell them to pray and ask for God to help them. We should also make sure we are leading by example. Are we seeking the Lord? Are we getting up from our prayers ready to move and follow the guidance we are given? I am amazed at what my kids pick up on. They are watching to see how we react and will follow our actions more than our words.

Like my niece, there are times when we just have to
hope someone will help us get out. This hope helps
us smile when we are down in the dirt.

Hope is closely related to faith and is necessary in our lives. Like faith, hope is a belief that something good will happen even though we can’t see it. The difference I see is that hope comes when something is out of your control. Let me explain.

When I was serving a two year mission for my church in South Korea, I got a letter from my parents. Luckily, I was sitting down when I started to read it because I was shocked at the news. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and she would be going through chemotherapy immediately. I was thousands of miles from home, without a way to get home and even if I did go home, I couldn’t do anything once I got there. So I prayed for her and I got up and went to work. I had faith that God would answer my prayer, but I had a hope that she would be OK and would recover. My actions wouldn’t have a direct impact, though I think serving God as a missionary provides some blessings, my feeling was hope.

In the more eternal perspective, we hope for eternal life. A goal we could not achieve on our own. No amount of action could gain that reward. It is only through Christ that we can get that we can be saved from our sins (Titus 3:7). This hope is what gets us through the hard times when we lose a loved one before we are ready. We need faith to keep going, and hope can fuel the flame.

Again, kids need to see our example of hope more than hear our words. Are we hopeful when times are hard? Do we speak of hope when we have just cause to lament our fate? Are we full of hope in the words of Christ?

These are interesting days, but I believe God is aware of us and our needs. He is there guiding our footsteps as we scale life’s treacherous path. He comes to us always. It is up to us to act on this belief and see God’s hand in our lives. It is up to us to look forward with hope, not in man but in the power of God (Proverbs 10:28). Then we will see God do more than we ever could on our own.

Next week: Learning through parables

Family Virtues – Thrift and Industry

My daughter and I work on planting flowers
in front of our house.

I am the youngest of 10 children. My siblings joke that I got everything. I did get everything, right after they grew out of it or didn’t use it anymore. Hand-me-downs and left overs were common fair growing up. While I was not oblivious to our situation – my friends often asked me to come to their houses because they had better toys – I didn’t feel cheated or unfortunate. There was always something to do, work to be done and family around.

Thrift

At least initially, thrift brings to mind pinching pennies and hording money instead of having fun on a whim. While that may be the case, thrift can also mean creativity and patience. Let me explain.

One day when I was probably 11 or 12, I wanted to build an extensive wildlife model for my expert project. I was going to present to my class about big cats (lions and tigers and leopards, oh my!). I wanted to have a really cool show-and-tell to make my presentation awesome. I had the cat figurines, but I needed to make the rest of it. My mom was great when it came to encouraging my creativity. If I said I wanted to fly to the moon, her response would have been, “OK, let’s see how we can make that happen.”  Then she would help me come up with ways to create my own adventure.

With this project I wanted everything to look authentic, so I wasn’t really excited about going outside and collecting the branches, sand, and rocks to recreate my scenery. I thought to myself, can’t we go to the store and buy some cool scenery to help with this project, instead of dumping dirt in a cardboard box. However, I knew that wasn’t necessary and as we looked at pictures and put the model scenery together, I was even more excited about my project.

We see all around us the woes of people and organizations that can’t spell budget, much less live by one. Girls and boys who grow up saving, planning and creating with what they have, will know how to live within their means later in life. Those boys and girls will know that money doesn’t solve problems, but is a resource to be used wisely.

Children that learn to save and be thrifty will learn patience, goal setting, self-reliance and even creativity (if they try to do more with less). We could use a lot more of that in our society.

Industry

Work is a four-letter word, but it’s a good one. A family that works together has a strong future. They not only will provide for their own needs, but they will establish habits that will bless their lives, and future generations, for years to come.

I always admired my dad’s work ethic. He never seemed to quit. The sun quit long before he did, so he brought out lights so he could keep on working. In my early teen years, I considered it a great accomplishment if I could outlast my dad in working outside.

His example also taught me to learn and apply that knowledge to overcome obstacles in life, whether it’s car troubles, acquiring skills or just persevering when times got tough. I know when I need to pay an expert, but even then I ask questions and try to find ways I can work out my own problems.

We’ve all heard the saying: Give a man a fish and he will get hungry again. Teach a man to fish and he will never go hungry. Parents are responsible for teaching their children to fish. Boys and girls should know how to work and even find joy in their labor.

My niece pitches in to dig a trench for a sprinkler system.

Work is empowering and builds confidence. Work will also help them get through tough times, because it gives them something to focus on rather than self-pity and will lead them to a solution. Our great nation was built with hard work, and has survived disaster through hard work. Don’t let your family be a stranger to industry.

In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin summarized well the importance of thrift and industry. He said:

“Waste neither time nor money, but make the best use of both. He that gets all he can honestly, and saves all he gets (necessary expenses excepted) will certainly become rich; if that Being who governs the world, to whom all should look for a blessing on their honest endeavors, doth not in his wise providence otherwise determine.”

God will richly bless families that save and work together with more than just worldly wealth. In the parable of the talents, the servants that put the money to good use and worked hard were given more. The one who hid his money and didn’t put it to good use, was scolded for being slothful and had his talent taken away. The first two servants not only became rulers of many things, they also gained knowledge no one can take away.

Next Week: Family Virtues – Optimism